Marriage advice has been around for decades. For example, take a look at these “helpful hints” excerpted from a January 1956 article of Good Housekeeping magazine. In that case, the focus was on directing wives to offer support to their husbands. One can only wonder if such guidance helped limit the number of divorces. The latest? A researcher suggests that science can really stop you from ending your marriage.
Fast forward more than six decades, and the marital advice is still coming to those willing to listen. A recent article pulls together some of the basics in a book published by a New York Times reporter seven years ago. If you’re inclined to read about the science that supposedly keeps happy couples together, you may want to pick up a copy of For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Marriage.
No doubt you’re wondering why a divorce attorney would even suggest attempting that couples attempt to find happiness. Truth be told, family law is intended to bring the best possible outcomes to struggling families. If science can help you keep your marriage together, consider this a public service.
The Science of Marital Bliss
The literature suggests that marital bliss can be achieved by following a seven-part recipe. Meanwhile, it goes without saying that both parties need to be part of the magical process.
For example, there’s a suggestion that sex makes for happier couples as it “improves moods” and leads to more “contented relationships.” Interestingly enough, other polls submit that most husbands and wives do not have intimate relations once a week. However, that doesn’t mean they count as unhappy couples.
In the meantime, there’s no question that the call for increased sexual relationships doesn’t suggest that couples find other partners. Obviously, infidelity often leads to divorce.
The science involved in advocating for happy marriages also proposes that couples increase excitement levels. What kinds of “new things” can husbands and wives consider to replace mundane lives? Should they take up skydiving for a change in pace?
Perhaps it’s that you need to keep a tally of the good in your marriage versus the bad. The research advocates for finding five positive interactions to every negative outburst. This science comes from the University of Washington. It was almost a couple of decades ago that this same institution claimed they could predict what marriages would succeed – and fail.
Many couples find themselves solely embraced in one another. Yet, the science advises that husbands and wives also need to consider the importance of outside family and friends. Interestingly, it fails to mention the role that others could actually play in breaking up marriages. And yes, this means in-law issues and problems with stepchildren.
There may be some truth to the science of happy couples. However scientific theories are just that – they are not necessarily conclusive. First and foremost, it “takes two to tango.” You could follow every single part of the recipe for happiness and still find that your marriage just won’t work. It could be that your spouse isn’t as eager to participate – or that things aren’t just meant to be.